Confessions of a former fat girl

Posted May 25 2015, 11:25 am in ,

I have a confession to make. I used to be fat. I know that’s not a politically correct word, but I was pushing 300 pounds, and I could sugarcoat it by calling myself “overweight”, “curvy” or “fluffy”, but then it would just be fat with a crunchy dusting of sugar. And trying to convince myself that my weight just wasn’t “that bad”, gave me an excuse not to do anything about it.

In March of 2013, after a seriously frustrating bout of failed dieting and a transformative moment when I realized I couldn’t even walk to the park with my son without getting so tired I was literally in tears, I made the best decision of my life –not counting my husband and sons.

The following May, I underwent gastric sleeving surgery and by November, I’d lost about 80 pounds before my weight plateaued. That winter was particularly brutal (polar vortex, anyone?) and I was really busy and not particularly active and while I didn’t put any weight back on, I lost my momentum.

The next spring, I noticed the scale starting to creep back up (just a couple of pounds, but every pound off had been hard won!) so I embarked on an exercise regimen — the first of my life. I started walking, and then taking tennis lessons and running, and biking and hiking and kayaking, then training with my husband for a triathlon in October of 2014. It was truly one of the proudest moments of my life. (Again, not counting husband and sons). Meanwhile, I knocked another 15 pounds off my weight and went down three more dress sizes.

“So what’s the confession?” you might be asking.

My confession is a tendency toward complacency.

Winter hit, and once again it was a bad one. Once again, I was genuinely very busy, and once again, I didn’t watch what I was eating and I didn’t exercise much and once again the scale started to creep back up and my clothes started to get snug again. But I consoled myself with the thought, “But I’m still down net 90 pounds. I’m still better off than I was a year ago, and heckuva lot better than two years ago!” which kept me from getting motivated to take my health seriously.

And complacency is my Achilles heel. I need to remember not to make excuses. Not to rely on former good behavior to let me talk myself out of good behavior today. I need to remember that without my health, none of the rest of my life works. Not my family, not my writing, not my not my “day job”.

What about you? What do you find that you let slip, even when you don’t mean to? And what are you going to do about it TODAY?

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